The last time this came up, I was in college and the editor-in-chief (we liked having grandiose titles for ourselves) had asked me, actually not me, but the whole group of us to write about it. Me, and one other girl had put up their hands to write about it. Then, as is now, I found myself struggling with what exactly to write of it.
But when you think of writing about sex, you cannot really write I love sex, in different ways, the entire length of the post. It would have been better, if there had been somebody asking me something about it. We, here in India, can have some pretty funny questions about it, which can be forgiven, given the state of sex-education, and/or general inability, or want to talk about sex. And many people have already talked about it, and do continue to talk about, which is good. Which again brings me to my inability to come up with something to write about sex.
So then, I love sex. I love the act, and I love all its manifestations, all the things it stands for, all the ways it is looked at. I love the basic nature of it, how it drives men, and women alike. I love what it means to different people, from something casual, a sport, to something divine, not just the physical.
I love it all. And still, I find it hard to write about it.
I just ran a google search for “About sex”, and ended up looking at a page full of facts, and hyperboles. Mostly written by guys for potential first timers. I admit to having gone through that phase myself. No shame in admitting to it! I’ve also gone through hours of porn. These are the things. which we have, in general, in the name of education, which, as expected, leads to lofty ambitions, and depression when faced with reality!
But here’s the thing, size does not matter, okay, that’s not entirely true, but it does not matter as much as the other things. How you make the other person feel matters. Comfort matters. Consent matters. The mechanical aspects of it don’t really matter as much, in fact, I’d argue that they come in the way of things. When you are in the zone, when you are one, you know what the other person wants. And that’s that. In porn, people are not people, they are monsters. Period. Don’t expect gymnastics. Or monsters.
Also, get used to the idea that women can want sex. They are not just a collection of isolated things. They are more than that. I remember having multiple discussions with my friends, male friends who laugh at the idea, who don’t find it possible, that women can be forthcoming about sex. They should. They should say what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. They should have a say.
This has been one of those, directionless, aimless, wandering posts of mine. I hope you forgive. See, it is as I said at the beginning.
Also, I love sex.