There is this interesting problem I am facing at work these days. ‘At work’ as in the place, and not related to.
Most of what I’ve posted here over the past three days has been written on my mobile phone, while there’s music going on in my ears, again thanks to the phone. The music is not the issue. Calling the situation an issue might be stretching things a bit, I fear. Calling it a dilemma might be appropriate.
Yesterday, I was talking to a person about the lack of time, I was getting to write.
‘I wasn’t getting time‘ I said, ‘so that I could turn the laptop on, and write‘
I remember having a similar discussion with another person, when I did not have a laptop. I remember what she said.
‘Its all in your head, all excuses‘ she’d said, ‘if you wanted to, you could use a pen and a paper’
It wasn’t anything the person said afterwards that got me thinking. It was rather my own musings, which made me question what I wasn’t doing. After all I was writing, writing stuff that I wanted to, and in the office, in the time I made, then why not write that half-finished book again? What was missing? Or rather, was anything really missing?
There is this image I have, of my home, not really my home, but rather my room. It is an empty room, and I don’t know why but the interiors are all in white. There’s this great big window on one wall, what’s outside keeps changing though: from a beach, to the mountains, to complete darkness at times. What stays though, is the desk in front of the window; the desk, the chair, and the laptop.
I guess in order to write, a couple of things matter the most; actually now that I think about it, there’s just this one thing that is required: a peaceful mind. That’s how I like my brain to be. At peace. The room, the laptop, it all adds to the comfort, the peace I need, but more than anything else I need my mind. Because after all its my brain working.
I believe writing is a continuous process; there’s no switching. You are always in the story. And as of now, I am here, most of the times, not there, in that world. I know it sounds like a whole bunch of excuses right now, and it might very well be. But till I can get back to the place, I’m sure I won’t be able to add a single word to what’s already there. I’m not sure how I’ll get there. But I’m also sure of the fact that once I’m there, it wouldn’t matter if I’m sitting in my office, or home; whether I’m typing on my phone, or my laptop; or whether anyone is looking or not.
Because as I said, once I’m there, I won’t be here!